Hard Decisions

On the other side of hard decisions is peace.

A hard decision is a perception of a choice that is out of the norm for you. The in between of the thought taking seed and action is where the insertion of “hard” comes in. Is it a hard decision? Or is it actually an easy decision that feels hard because of external factors and preconceived notions of success, and what your identity is.

Sometimes the other side of a hard decision is a shedding of an outdated identity of self.

It’s hard because there is a grieving process that needs to come. We see this a lot with divorces. People get divorced and their whole sense of self goes through a massive shift as the old needs to be replaced with new. It’s like a bandaid getting ripped off and the fresh skin underneath is all soft and not fully formed yet. Some people become completely unrecognizable because their foundation has completely altered. Who they once were doesn't fit anymore and it's a process of reclaiming the pieces of self that weren't tied up in a relationship with someone else.

These colossal shifts in identity feel massive in the moment. It’s like when a person hits rock bottom. There is nowhere else to go but up. At that point, what have you got to lose? So give it your all. That's why so many success stories come out of rock bottom. There wasn't too much left to hold them back from just reaching and grasping at what drops in.

But first, the action needs to come. Informing that a divorce is imminent, a resignation letter, a move across the country. Not everything has to be drastic, but it’s working through the emotions around the action of doing the thing. It’s not easy. And it can feel like a part of you is dying (because it is). As humans, we identify with our sense of self through such a limiting lens when really we are unlimited and multidimensional beings living within a vessel. How can we expect ourselves to fit in one box for the rest of our lives? The whole purpose of being here is soul growth.

This is why failure has no meaning within these decisions. There is no failure when it is a shifting of identity. How can we open a new door when the old door is still wide open? We must create room in this in-between phase for the new to come in.

Not to say that this all is easy. It is not. But sometimes it can feel like an absolutely necessary next step even when it doesn’t make sense. What is on the other side of the hard decisions? Peace in finding a resolution that feels good to your soul. You may not know where you are going, but in those moments, you know where you don’t want to be anymore. And sometimes that’s enough.

Like a phoenix that rises from the ashes...first there must be fire to cleanse and purge what no longer fits. Don't just freeze in the flames. Allow it to bring transformation and then you can anchor into the self that emerges, hopefully stronger in the sense of self and determined in the groundedness of the actions coming through. There is a rebirth in the identities shifting right now. Lean in and see where it takes you.