Bookends: A Spiritual Practice

A big mistake that I see a lot of people make when they first start leaning more into their intuition and spiritual gifts is to think that they need to be “on” all the time. 

For someone like myself who put a lot of emphasis on being perfect and striving to live up to other peoples expectations, this felt like an impossible task. Because what if I do it wrong? If I didn’t correctly gauge one thing I felt like a failure and it perpetuated my old loop of unworthiness and low self esteem. I was used to putting high expectations on myself and my spiritual practice was just another iteration of this. It didn’t really feel empowering to me. 

It wasn’t until I started breaking it down into manageable pieces that everything started shifting for me. I unconsciously created a routine within my 9-5 workday when my baby went down for a nap and my older child was at day home where I carved out a little piece of routine that was just for me. 

Throughout my day I had to be “on” doing contracts, looking after my children, managing the household, being the detail-oriented and perfect version of myself that I identified with. 

But within my routine, just for 20 minutes, I was able to let myself go. I could connect with the version of me that had a higher knowing, a deeper trust, and unshakeable faith. I had to create a space for her to be heard. And so I would go to my nightstand that had my pendulum, card deck, and essential oils, call in my higher self, guides, angels to protect and guide me, and ask my cards, what do I need to know today? 

From there I would pick a card, read the write up and then sit in presence with the guidance. Taking in everything I was feeling, sensing, knowing, and what images and visions I was receiving. After I felt it slow down and eventually stop, I would write down in my notes app everything that occurred. Unfiltered, raw, unedited, just free write until it was all there. 

Then, giving gratitude for what came through I would close my practice. 

The opening and then subsequent closing of this time allowed me to sink deeper into surrender within the space. I started referring to this practice as my Bookends. Tightly holding and lovingly encasing on either side of my little foray into deeper trust and surrender of my spiritual gifts and inner knowing. 

It allowed my brain that I had identified within that season (and all of my life) with, to quiet and connect to a more primal part of me that felt loud once I started to give space to listen. 

The rest of day I still paid attention to my signs and synchronicities but I didn’t have such attachment to “get the message right” or a pressure to always be “on”. I listened of course, but I was more relaxed with it in ways I wasn’t before. My practice allowed another avenue of Tawny to emerge. A part of me that had been silenced a long time ago. She was sensitive sure, but it was about everyone else and taking it in. This thread of connection to a deeper tether within was pure source consciousness and my connection to it.

Eventually, the sensations and guidance I was receiving in my bookends space started translating into my everyday world. I would recognize a sensation in my chest from a particular guide and then excuse myself to be in a safe, comfortable space, and the message would come in crystal clear! No more second guessing my knowing, it was just beautifully there to be received.

This foundation of my practice has expanded to now be able to hold space for clients. As most who have a session with me know, I process out loud during my sessions. This trust is like a freefall every time into an unknowing space as it's my bookends extrapolated to now hold others as well (without the notes app). But it had to start with my own connection and surrender.

The goal with the Bookends is to create a little pocket of time where you can just be present and connect in to deepen your intuitive knowing and strengthen your gifts. For me, it was it's own isolated practice, kind of like praying. Where I could just have a direct line to God Source and recognize how I was already receiving throughout my day without being aware of it.

This practice is what I attribute to stop being so overwhelmed by other energies. For me, it created a boundary for when I was open to receiving messages. Prior to this, I was always open so was always receiving. Social situations were exhausting, I wasn't sleeping well, and I felt overwhelmed with anxiety most of the time. It was like I was a taxi cab with a light that was always "on" willing to pick up at anytime, anywhere. By creating awareness about my energy through this practice, it made a firm boundary for when I was open for receiving and when I was not.

To help you begin to deepen your own practice, I have created a breakdown of my Bookends practice below.

I hope that this practice serves you as it has served me!

Tools you may need

• pendulum

• oracle card deck

• essential oils

• palo santo/sage

• gemstones or crystals

• journal or notes app in your phone

• light a candle with a soothing scent

Ideal conditions to create your space

• feel safe

• won't be disturbed

(It does not need to be a whole room! When I first started, my safe place was my bedroom and my alter was my nightstand during nap time)

Opening ceremony (Bookend One):

• Use a cleansing spray or sacred medicine (ie: palo santo or sage) to cleanse your body and your space. Take deep breaths and start calming your mind; bringing your energy to the present moment.

• Visualize your roots anchoring deep into mother Earth from the safety of your root chakra and your crown chakra unfurling and opening, synchronizing with your third eye chakra. Feel the flow of energy from the top of your head down and up through your body.

• Close your eyes and ask to only connect with the highest and best energy aligned with the frequency of love. You can bring in guides, angels, Higher Self, ancestors, whomever that you connect with. Here is a prompt that you can use as a jumping off point:

  • "Higher Self, Guides, Angels, Ancestors, please protect me, guide me, and allow me to be a clear and open channel for the highest and best vibration of energy. I only allow that which is pure source energy and carries the vibration of love to connect with me."

• While you are doing this, visualize or feel the energies stepping towards you. I usually feel the energy coming from my back and as if there is a sensation of "we have your back".

• I would also smell a specific essential oil and rub it between my hands, then bring my hands to my face to breath it in deep. This creates a connection to the scent and this process. I can even still smell that specific scent and it will immediately start opening my crown chakra!

Now that the space is cleared, prepped, and protected, feel into what you are needing in this moment. For myself, I usually used my oracle cards to get the message quicker. Holding the deck in my palms, I would connect with my heart space and ask "what do I need to know today?"

I usually default to the spread out method for card pulling with one hand on my chest and one hand guiding what card I am being led to. After interpreting the card and reading the write up, I would then go into a meditation, usually with one hand on my chest and one hand on my abdomen connecting with my breath (either laying down or seated--it depended on the day). This does not need to be a very long time! I still needed to eat lunch after this before my daughter woke up from her nap so I was not in a season for an hour long meditation on the daily. Give yourself grace and know that just the ritual being added as routine consistently helps strengthen your inner knowing muscle.

After the meditation, write down EVERYTHING that you felt, saw, knew, heard, and experienced. Even if it sounded wacky or hard to put into words, do your best to aptly describe all the sensations and visions. Consistently being present with your intuition, helps to discern what clairs you receive through. We all have access to all of them but usually we only know consciously about one or so. The more you can discern your clairs (how you receive psychic information) the easier it is to translate messages from your spirit team and Higher Self.

Closing ceremony (Bookend Two):

• When you are finished writing/typing out what you received, start closing the energy down by giving gratitude. Gratitude is such a beautiful way to honour the sacred energy and also gives back to the pure Source energy that you were connecting to.

• Here is a prompt to close down your practice:

  • "I give gratitude to my energy, my guides, my angels, my Higher Self for these messages and connection. I am humbled to be of service for the highest good of all. I now disconnect my energy and come back to presence."

• You can also add a clap, bell, or raku (which is learned in Usui Reiki Level I) to have a physical movement to disconnect.

Remember that this Bookends practice is what worked for me to deepen my own

gifts. Play with the framework to work for you to help develop your practice. But as we continue to awaken to our energetic selves, practices like this will help you discern where everything else ends and you actually begin. Along with daily energy hygiene and somatic support, these tools will help you thrive as a fully embodied soul having a human experience <3